Hitsugaya Toshirou's Birthday
by Listlessness
Summary: It's Hitsugaya's special day, and teh gang throws a surprise party! My first Bleach Fanfic. Oneshot, obviously. Please R and R!


HITSUGAYA'S BIRTHDAY

(Disclaimer: I do not, in any way imaginable or not, own Bleach. If I did, I'd make the freaking anime end the stinking fillers and make episodes that the viewers actually want to watch. Those of you who like the fillers, TOO BAD)

knock, knock

"Go away, I'm busy…"

_knock, knock_

"I'm busy here!"

_Knock, Knock_

"I SAID THAT I WAS BUSY!"

_**KNOCK KNOCK!!!!!!!!**_

"**_GAH!!!!!!!_**FINE, I'M COMING!"

A bad start to what would become the craziest day of Hitsugaya Toshirou's year. (Besides Christmas, but Christmas is crazy for everyone, so it doesn't count…)

Our not-so-happy-and-dandy subject walked (more like stalked) to the door and opened it. If you call shooting a huge ice dragon at it causing it to freeze and crumble into a million pieces "opening" it.

"WHAT?!"

"Oy, taichou, you don't have to be so mean!"

"Matsumoto? What were you doing out?! And why didn't you open the door by yourself?!"

"Because you would've made me close it and then do paperwork, and I need you to come out here!"

Before he could react, Matsumoto Rangiku grabbed her captain by the arm and dragged him out the door.

"MATSUMOTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!"

"Nothing, just come!"

He was getting a very bad feeling about this.

After a few moments of silence, Hitsugaya started talking again. "Matsumoto, why are there bits of confetti in the snow? And why is your hand covered in white stuff? And why are you wearing an apron? And why isn't there anyone else outside? And where did all the snowmen go? And where are all the trees? And why is that patch of snow blood-red? And why does it look like a lot of people have been here before? And WHAT is that huge clump of reiatsu I'm feeling coming from behind 11th squad's backyard?!"

"All your questions will be answered in time…"

Out of all the questions he had just asked, the last one seemed to be the most ominous. There must be about ten……no twenty…………26……………30 people back there! And what about the blood? Did Zaraki kill someone or something? Oh, there was another patch of bloody snow! And another one! This wasn't good. It looked like an all out massacre! Even Zaraki was sensible enough not to kill this many people in Seireitei.

But then………WHAT WAS ALL THE BLOOD ABOUT?!?!?!?!

"Ah! Here we are!" Matsumoto led him inside the 11th squad headquarters where, sitting at the table, was none other than……Hanatarou?

"Hitsugaya-taichou," he started, "do you have any sort of history with heart disease?"

"Uh…………no……why?"

"Okay, it's safe to do it!"

"Huh?! Do what?!?!?!?! Hey! Come back here!!!!!"

"Close your eyes…" Matsumoto said teasingly. She didn't really give him a choice either, since she put her hands in front of his eyes and led him out the back door.

The second she removed her hands, about 50 people all shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, (insert your choice of Hitsugaya-taichou, Shiro-chan, or Toshirou)!!!!!!"

The immense noise practically deafened him for the next two minutes, in which he was buried under a pile of people, all trying to give him presents, hugs, and pats on the back until Orihime, acting as crowd control (surprisingly), used her little shield thingy to block the way, and Ichimaru used his general creepiness to get everyone to quiet down.

Hitsugaya took in the scene around him. The 11th squad's backyard, once a training field, had been turned into a party place. There was confetti EVERYWHERE, streamers EVERYWHERE, balloons EVERYWHERE, food EVERYWHERE, and a huge happy birthday banner. Looking around, he saw the reason for the blood. Apparently, some of the people had gotten into a snowball fight outside and a few had what looked like broken noses. Still pretty bad, but better than a massacre.

EVERYONE he had EVER known in Seireitei was there. All 13 captains, their vice-captains, a few of the 3rd officers, one of the 5th officers, several members of the 4th squad, Ichigo and his ryoka gang, Kon and the other stuffed animal/Mod souls, as well as several other minor characters.

He turned to Matsumoto with a "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS" look in his eyes. She simply replied, "It's your _birthday. _We can't let you work on your _birthday_." Giving in to her insane reasoning, he allowed himself to be swept up into the festivities.

The first event: the party games. Yachiru had invented some kind of game called "Pin the tail on the Cue-ball-head" (the cue-ball-head being a certain bald someone (coughcoughIkkakucough)) in which the players have to stick little strips of sticky stuff covered in hair to a grumpy "cue-ball-head". Someone had apparently forbidden death matches, so Zaraki was holding a snowball fight. There were random shouts of a "crazy hair" competition that was being held after the snowball fight, since Zaraki was obviously going to join. Somehow, a sake drinking contest got started, Matsumoto and Kyouraku being the leaders. And last, but not least, Aizen and Byakuya were having a staring contest (where you try not to laugh, not that you try not to blink) (emo freaks……).

Hitsugaya was at the snowball fight (obviously), accused of cheating several times by Yamamoto (only because the snowballs melt in _his_ hand). After that, he was forced to enter the crazy hair contest with Zaraki, Ichigo, Ukitake, Ichimaru (how the hell did he get in?), Ikkaku, and … (??) Komamura?! Zaraki ended up winning, after a loooooooooooong speech about how strenuous it was to get the bells on his hair. After that, Hitsugaya went and watched the sake-drinking and the staring competitions (do those people ever laugh?!?! At all?!?!?!?!?!?!). After the sake-competition was over (winner: Kyouraku (Matsumoto fell into a 30 minute coma)) and the staring competition was called a draw (no, they don't laugh……), they went on to………………………………

The second event: the talent show. A stage was somehow magically conjured up and Kon was declared host. This was a time for people to show off their- wait. You guys know what a talent show is. I'll just tell you about it.

SOMEONE (cough, Kon, cough) thought up with the idea that everyone had to show off something, so I will describe the most memorable ones.

Kon and the Mod Soul gang formed a stuffed animal pyramid with Kon on the bottom, Claude and Nova in the middle, and Rinrin on top, juggling balls of yarn.

Yamamoto reduced the entire stage to ashes.

Soi Fon (after the stage was magically re-conjured) traveled from one end of the yard to the other and back in the span of about 2 seconds.

Yoruichi did the same thing in one second.

Ichimaru actually opened his eyes and glared, which creeped everyone out.

Kira used Wabisuke's ability to make the stage collapse.

Unohana and the rest of the 4th squad went around healing everyone that had been injured in the snowball fight.

Aizen…………was emo…………

Hinamori did a bunch of kidou tricks.

Byakuya………made the collapsed stage turn into a pile of sawdust.

Renji did a trick with Zabimaru. He put a plate on the end, extended it, had people put food on the plate, and retracted it without dropping any food (or the plate itself).

Tousen rapped on the once again re-conjured stage.

Kyouraku walked in a straight line (which is quite a feat, considering the fact that he had just drunk about 6 gallons of sake (exaggerating…)).

Nanao hit him with a book, which made him collapse.

Komamura did tricks.

Matsumoto walked about two laps around the field before falling into another coma.

Zaraki chopped off the head of 10 wooden dummy that were attacking him at once.

Yachiru proved her ability to be one of the most annoying Shinigami in the world.

Ikkaku blinded everyone with the light reflected off his head.

Kurotsuchi cut off his legs and one arm, then regenerated all of them.

Nemu……didn't do anything…

Ukitake did a cartwheel!

Ichigo made a huge hole in the ground with Getsuuga Tenshou.

Inoue made her little fairy thingies dance.

Chado made a not so huge hole with his arm thing.

Ganju lit firecrackers.

And finally……the moment we've all been waiting for…………Hitsugaya Toshirou did all of the following: danced (Matsumoto got out of her coma and forced him to.), sang (forced), told a random joke (also forced), and froze over the entire yard with Hyouinmaru (only thing that wasn't forced). For some reason, everyone had ice skates with them…

THIRD EVENT: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!

That sums it up pretty well…

FOURTH EVENT: PRESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!

Hitsugaya got:

Yamamoto: card.

Soi Fon: card.

Yoruichi: card.

Ichimaru: a weird acrostic poem and a card.

Kira: card.

Unohana/4th squad: a first aid kit, plus several cards.

Aizen: emo stuff and a card.

Hinamori: a hug, a snow globe, a stuffed snowman, and a card.

Byakuya: a hair noodle thing and a card. (Byakuya: They are NOT hair noodles! Me: Oh, yes they are!!!)

Renji: a snowball and a card.

Tousen: card.

Kyouraku: sake (to save for when he can actually drink) and a card.

Nanao: a book (to hit Matsumoto with, I guess…) and a card.

Komamura: a hairbrush and a card.

Matsumoto: pens with lots of little frilly things that sing songs when he writes (for paperwork!) and a card.

Zaraki: something that was confiscated before Hitsugaya even opened it and a card.

Yachiru: lots of candy and a card.

Mayuri/Nemu: the regenerative stuff and 2 cards.

Ukitake: lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of random stuff with lots and lots and lots of cards.

In short, he got a bunch of random stuff with a bunch of random cards.

THE FIFTH EVENT: RANDOM PARTYING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah…………………………………………………………………………………………

They did more random crap until 11:30 pm, when the Shibas set off the hugest fireworks ever created. This went until midnight, when Hitsugaya's birthday was officially over. Everyone went home to have an 8 hour break before…………………Ukitake Jushirou's birthday party.

12/20: Happy Birthday, Shiro-chan!

If I'm in the mood, I'll write one for Ukitake. Their birthdays are on consecutive days!!!!!! How does that work?!?!?!?! O.o (the 2 shirou-chans!)

Ah well. Hope you liked it!

**owari**


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